There's a Scotsman driving through Europe and an Englishman driving in the opposite direction.
In the middle of the night, with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.
The Scotsman manages to climb out of his car and survey the damages. He looks at his twisted car and says, 'Jesus, I am
really lucky to be alive!
Likewise, the Englishman scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, 'I can't believe I survived this wreck!'
The Englishman walks over to the Scotsman and says, 'You know, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away
our petty differences and live as friends instead of such rivals.'
The Scotsman thinks for a moment and says, 'You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived the wreck.'
So, the Scotsman pops open his boot and finds a full unopened bottle of Whisky. He says to the English fella, 'I think this is another sign from God that we toast to our new found understanding and friendship'
The Englishman says, 'You're damn right!' and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down the Whisky.
After putting away nearly half the bottle, the Englishman hands it back to the Scotsman and says, 'Your turn!'
The Scotsman twists the cap back on the bottle
and says, 'Nah, I think I'll wait for the police to show up'


My favorite forums
http://www.graphixanstuff.com
http://www.closeprotectionworld.co.uk/index.php?referrerid=11530

don't think paul will like this one

Quote
disrupted
don't think paul will like this one

Woops...Is he....


My favorite forums
http://www.graphixanstuff.com
http://www.closeprotectionworld.co.uk/index.php?referrerid=11530

Quote
disrupted
don't think paul will like this one

lol, not a bit! a good joke = a good joke


Rooney, Ronaldo and Ferdinand are all brought up to heaven as god wants to know there beliefs about football.

God asks Rooney 'What do you believe in?'
Rooney says 'Well, I believe in the joys of football and it doesnt matter whether you win or lose, it's just playing the game that counts'
God agrees and gives Rooney the seat on his right hand side.

God then asks Ferdinand 'What do you believe in?'
Ferdinand says 'I believe that when you step onto that football pitch nothing else matter's to you'
Yet again god agrees and gives Ferdinand the seat on his left.

God then peers over to Ronaldo and asks 'What do you believe in son?'
Ronaldo says 'Well sir, I believe that you are sitting in my seat'

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.

Life before computers:

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A programme was a show on tv
A cursor was someone who swears a lot
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spiders home
A virus was the flu
A hard drive was a long trip down the motorway
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy.... well you just hoped and prayed no one found out.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2009 01:57PM by Paul.

For desga2

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class
that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz"

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate
with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

( THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine
("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems,
but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Thanks Paul, a good joke.

I think the same that men's group:
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora")

I think the male term is over rated.

K-Meleon in Spanish

Quote
Paul

Quote
disrupted
don't think paul will like this one

lol, not a bit! a good joke = a good joke


Rooney, Ronaldo and Ferdinand are all brought up to heaven as god wants to know there beliefs about football.

God asks Rooney 'What do you believe in?'
Rooney says 'Well, I believe in the joys of football and it doesnt matter whether you win or lose, it's just playing the game that counts'
God agrees and gives Rooney the seat on his right hand side.

God then asks Ferdinand 'What do you believe in?'
Ferdinand says 'I believe that when you step onto that football pitch nothing else matter's to you'
Yet again god agrees and gives Ferdinand the seat on his left.

God then peers over to Ronaldo and asks 'What do you believe in son?'
Ronaldo says 'Well sir, I believe that you are sitting in my seat'

That was an effin` good one...

Cheers mate..


My favorite forums
http://www.graphixanstuff.com
http://www.closeprotectionworld.co.uk/index.php?referrerid=11530



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2009 10:26PM by Gorilla no baka.